Episode 135: Are You Being Patriotic?

This week on the Sportive, Liz Welle joins us at Legends in NE Minneapolis to discuss the bar’s new menu, PLUS:

* Honey butter
* Don’t go full grandpa
* The quarter-life crisis
* What are you getting rid of?

Later Liz left and Brandon and Jon stuck around to talk about why everyone is so, so angry about football.

Episode 133: The Groinal Region

Local raconteur Eric Durkee hosted Jon and Brandon this week, plying them with old fashioneds and pizza in true Durkee style. Topics:

* Tattoos
* Fundraising via haircuts
* Our rap names
* Getting our hopes up for the Vikings?
* The Wolves – actually forget it let’s just talk about the Warriors instead
* The Twins (Eric left during this part), and the Aaron Hicks Trade
* Everton Update Hour
* The Minnesota United season
* The last hurdle for the St. Paul soccer stadium

Old fashioneds taste good.

Episode 130: Wolves Preview – The San Andreas Fault of Feet

***NOTE: this was recorded last week, before the sad news of Flip’s death.***

Wolves preview! Stu, Jon and Clarence patiently listen to Brandon ramble-gripe about the local cagers.


— Sam Mitchell is going to ruin this season
— Why in the hell would anyone watch this team?
— Our world famous “Bros & Turds” segment
— Projected wins

We were worried Clarence was going to ruin the show with a 45-minute fart sound, but he didn’t. Thank you for the restraint, Clarence!

Episode 127: Vanek Loves a Home Underdog

It’s all hockey, all the time this week, as Giles Ferrell of WildXtra.com joins us to preview the Wild season. (Not entirely true – we also talked Twins and Vikings – but bear with us.)

On the docket:

  • Goalies are goofier than everyone else put together
  • Explaining what “waffleboarding” means
  • Predictions, bros and turds, and other semi-confident statements we will disavow almost immediately, OR: Why Giles is on house arrest for a week
  • Why Jordan Schroeder should throw Niklas Backstrom’s goalie equipment in a river
  • Sinuhe Wallenheimo
  • Complaining about the Wild power play before the season even starts

Always fun to talk hockey again. Start the Zambonis!

Episode 121: It’s Amazing If He’s An Animal

Official Sportive Twin Brother Dave joins us for:

-Gopher pigskin season preview
-Clarence has an accident in his pants over another Mike Sano jack
-We laugh at Souhan for 20 minutes straight
-Berrios’s arm is going to fall off soon, -RIP Berrios’s arm

Considering the two teams discussed, surprisingly light on rage. These are the end times.

Episode 119: Bite-Sized Balls

Clarence was on vacation – hashtag can’t make it – so America’s Sweetheart Liz Welle joined us at her usual Legends location to talk about:

  • LentilFest
  • The ongoing Twins disaster, and why anybody got their hopes up this week
  • New State Fair foods (including the title of this podcast!)
  • Why certain people don’t want to know what their grades are
  • Parents Gone Wild
  • State fairs vs. county fairs
  • The Escape Room

And much, much more.

Episode 118: The Ol’ Fart Bank

Our good friend Eric Durkee joined the podcast for the first time this week. After some recording difficulties, we regrouped and discussed:

  • Farting on Brad Childress
  • Kickfarter
  • Minnesota United media food
  • Straw-ber-ritas
  • Creating soccer fans in America
  • Many, many sociological generalizations
  • American soccer hooliganism, the stupidest thing ever
  • Gang fighting
  • UFC is the teacups at the county fair
  • National Elephant Day
  • Daniel Day Lewis
  • The Democrating Donald Trump
  • Minneapolis-St. Paul’s Top 5 Reuben Sandwiches

An excellent episode, as always. Our thanks to Eric for joining up, especially since he has things to lose.

Episode 116: Literally All Python

Our good friend Patrick Donnelly deputized for Clarence, who couldn’t make it, at the Town Hall Brewery at Seven Corners. Among the topics:

  • The return of the Ron Davis era and the depression of the current Twins
  • I’d settle for two or three million
  • #TeflonJ├╝rgy
  • How can we possibly be excited for the Vikings season
  • The Great Baseball Road Trip, and more importantly, video games
  • #HireStu

(Seriously, on the last one. Our favorite co-host, Steve “Stu” Neuman, was laid off this week, and we would like you to hire him to work for you because a) we like him and b) we like you, and frankly, you’re getting an effing deal out of this. Hiring Stu will be the best thing you ever did for your organization. Trust us. #HireStu.)

Episode 111: Sam Hinkie Is A Nihilist

It’s an all-NBA (well, mostly-NBA) episode of the podcast. Brandon and Jon are joined by our friend Dylan Dragswiek (@roughkat) and his brother Ian to talk about:

  • Karl-Anthony Towns and erectile health
  • Flip Saunders and how we loathe him
  • Would you rather be wrong and happy, or right and miserable?
  • The best Wolves starting five
  • How to improve the NBA
  • How to improve hockey overtimes (it got random at the end)

Later the Wolves traded for Tyus Jones, which makes some of our hot takes out of date. Oh well.

Episode 107: I’m Not Afraid to Touch a Wet Nacho

Clarence couldn’t make it for this one, so we replaced him with Liz Welle and got back to work. Thanks to her for being willing to talk to us about any and all of the following:

  • The Twins: are we ready to love again?
  • Upside-down nachos
  • Paynesville, MN
  • Why Rangers fans are the absolute worst, and how much we hate people who went to North Dakota
  • Nacho criteria
  • A horrifying soccer story

And plenty more. Plus, Stu had his best episode, and is really getting warmed up for the season.