Episode 86: Casual Stu Night

Clarence couldn’t make it this week, due to a combination of a “lower-body injury” and audio problems (actually, it was the flu), but the other three regulars were in attendance for our usual pile of complaints. Among the discussions:

  • Some Footbaw Advanced Stats, which Brandon tried to use to make Clarence apologize, even though he wasn’t there
  • Jon tries to get calmed down about the Twins, which ends in a long-winded drug analogy that makes at least as much sense as Jon’s weird Twins attitude
  • We try to write Stu’s Twinkie Town column for him
  • Are we #PayrollWhiners? A serious discussion – just kidding, we make fun of the entire concept yet again
  • The utter ongoing disappointment of the Wild
  • We talk MMA, for probably the first and last time on the podcast
  • “In defense of the NFL…” –Brandon

And of course, there are plenty of the usual asides, terrible analogies, and time-wasting that you’ve come to expect from Hutch Blowtorch and the Sports Inferno.

Episode 85: The Soundtrack to My Strife

Twins writer and bullet-crusher Parker Hageman dials in to the hotline as we discuss:

  • Would the Vikings be a playoff team with AP?
  • The number of people who want Clarence dead
  • Ervin Santana rumors. Exciting and also likely irrelevant by the time this is published
  • People doubted us but we found a way to bitch about the Twins again
  • Wolves 25% of the way through the season review (aka intermission)
  • Stu’s top songs of 2014
  • Jon’s delightful Adam Weber story

Episode 84: Anti-Resistance Skates

Hockey stathead extraordinaire Hans Van Slooten joins us to discuss:

  • Torii Hunter signing & press conference
  • Whether or not Mike Berardino is a prick
  • This week in media homers
  • Flip Saunders is the devil
  • The latest & greatest hockey stats
  • Brandon outdoes himself with the worst hockey idea of all time

We should also note we had a short baby shower at the beginning. Feel free to skip ahead 8 minutes or so to get to the ball talk.

Episode 83: The Breeze is a Harsh Editor

First off, congratulations to Brandon, who had his second child on Monday. We hoped he would call in from the hospital, but as it turns out, he couldn’t QUITE make it. Jon, Stu, and Clarence (who dropped out and re-joined about forty times) were left to discuss:

  • Gopher football: everything we ever wanted
  • Thanks for listening, Mike Russo. Welcome to the party!
  • Stu is a cuckold
  • Matt Kalil is terrible and Mike Priefer’s dad is a crusty old fart
  • The Wolves are a train wreck…
  • … but not as big of a train wreck as Big Ten hockey
  • Eaves is jail, but Hakstol is prison

And so on and so forth. We’re still the hardest-working podcast in show biz.

Episode 82: Yortuck Diskerud

Clarence joined late, but otherwise we had the usual four-man contingent for this one. Among the topics discussed:

  • Vikings predictions
  • Thank you for noting that you are against child abuse, columnists of America
  • Mark Dayton Broxey
  • Our few-and-far-between sources of hope
  • A surprising amount of Philadelphia 76ers talk
  • Jon and Brandon’s five-year bet
  • Why isn’t Mikko Koivu getting more heat?
  • How can Stu miss us when we won’t leave?
  • Open Mic Night
  • We’re pro-umlaut!

It’s good to be back, and not yelling at each other for once.

Episode 81: The Utah Beach of NFL Fields

We tried a little something different for Episode 81, as Stu and Jon met up at The Depot in downtown Minneapolis to record a Saturday evening version of the podcast. Among the topics:

  • The Gophers lose to Ohio State
  • We try to make sense of the Wolves and Gopher basketball despite not watching either
  • Stu talks about the much better podcasts that he’s involved with at his day job
  • The Vikings-Bears game, BUT NOTHING ABOUT THE COACH

See what you think, and leave us some feedback by tweeting @sportivepodcast. We’d appreciate it.

Episode 80: The Priory of Sion Offense

We missed Stu this week, but he sent in enough hot takes to keep us going for one of our more contentious episodes ever. On the agenda:

  • Which is more likely, the Wild missing the playoffs, or the Vikings making the playoffs?
  • How are the Gophers going to do on Saturday against Ohio State?
  • The Bears are going to beat the Vikings, right?
  • NOTE: At this point the podcast devolved into a long discussion of who was most responsible for the Vikings offense. We never really stopped talking about it. We tried to move on, but didn’t really.
  • Ricky Rubio, Sadness Factory
  • Who could possibly care about Gene Glynn
  • Your weekly Wild depression therapy

By the end, Brandon was ready to join a different podcast. We need more therapy.

Episode 79: Nice Soft Terry-Cloth Feel

It’s the first show from the newly-minted Sportive HQ 2.0! Brandon’s back in the hosting chair and the rest of the idiots are joining as usual, as we broadcast now from western Uptown / the suburbs (depending on your preference).

On the podcast tonight:

  • The Molitor hiring (sigh) (sigh) (giant glug of beer)
  • Molitor enters the Keith Millard Hall of Fame
  • Joe Mauer is the most Sportive?
  • Jim Pohlad: Team Lazy vs. Team Incompetent
  • Ted-ee, Ted-ee, Ted-ee, TED-EE
  • T-and-R with the best of them
  • Anthony Barr and shrewd draft-night moves
  • Some light Rick Spielman-related trolling of Clarence
  • Hate/loving the Patriots… and AJ Pierzynski?
  • The Rubio Contract
  • Jon has his Wild expectations set way too high
  • The reason you should watch sports
  • What liking Christmas music says about you

Episode 78: This Infinite Nothing

We’re missing the Texas-bound Brandon tonight, but Patrick Donnelly (@donnelly612) stepped in for him and did his usual fine New Ulm job. Among tonight’s topics:

  • The latest Gopher football letdown, and just how much of a letdown it really is
  • Jon accidentally locking his wife out of the house during the podcast and how this was endlessly hilarious to Stu
  • The Mitch Moss Sports Toilet’s ongoing feud with Marty Cordova (NOTE: alternate title for this episode was “Feuding with Marty Cordova”)
  • Clarence’s audio slideshow of his trip to Nashville
  • The Wolves lost! (NOTE: This is a transcription of all of the Wolves talk.)
  • The ninth inning of Game 7 of the World Series, poorly broadcasted
  • The Wild power play and why they just won’t listen to us
  • A Vikings win nobody cares about, following a tortured sports metaphor
  • Patrick Donnelly direct quote: “I don’t know, I’m not in your brains.”
  • Michael Russo = kd lang

In other words, the usual to-the-point sports talk you’ve come to expect.

Episode 77: “Thank you, David Kahn”

It’s the hotly anticipated T-Wolves preview, featuring podcaster-at-large & local optimist Michael Rand. Topics:

  • Wolves: offseason, lineup, wins predictions and Brandon arguing that Flip is the devil
  • Twins: getting our patented pre-rage on about the hiring of Paul Molitor
  • Wild: something about power plays?
  • Vikings: we play the blame game, this round pitting Norv v. Zimmer. Totally shocking spoiler alert: Clarence gives a write-in vote for Spielman.