Episode 79: Nice Soft Terry-Cloth Feel

It’s the first show from the newly-minted Sportive HQ 2.0! Brandon’s back in the hosting chair and the rest of the idiots are joining as usual, as we broadcast now from western Uptown / the suburbs (depending on your preference).

On the podcast tonight:

  • The Molitor hiring (sigh) (sigh) (giant glug of beer)
  • Molitor enters the Keith Millard Hall of Fame
  • Joe Mauer is the most Sportive?
  • Jim Pohlad: Team Lazy vs. Team Incompetent
  • Ted-ee, Ted-ee, Ted-ee, TED-EE
  • T-and-R with the best of them
  • Anthony Barr and shrewd draft-night moves
  • Some light Rick Spielman-related trolling of Clarence
  • Hate/loving the Patriots… and AJ Pierzynski?
  • The Rubio Contract
  • Jon has his Wild expectations set way too high
  • The reason you should watch sports
  • What liking Christmas music says about you

Episode 78: This Infinite Nothing

We’re missing the Texas-bound Brandon tonight, but Patrick Donnelly (@donnelly612) stepped in for him and did his usual fine New Ulm job. Among tonight’s topics:

  • The latest Gopher football letdown, and just how much of a letdown it really is
  • Jon accidentally locking his wife out of the house during the podcast and how this was endlessly hilarious to Stu
  • The Mitch Moss Sports Toilet’s ongoing feud with Marty Cordova (NOTE: alternate title for this episode was “Feuding with Marty Cordova”)
  • Clarence’s audio slideshow of his trip to Nashville
  • The Wolves lost! (NOTE: This is a transcription of all of the Wolves talk.)
  • The ninth inning of Game 7 of the World Series, poorly broadcasted
  • The Wild power play and why they just won’t listen to us
  • A Vikings win nobody cares about, following a tortured sports metaphor
  • Patrick Donnelly direct quote: “I don’t know, I’m not in your brains.”
  • Michael Russo = kd lang

In other words, the usual to-the-point sports talk you’ve come to expect.

Episode 77: “Thank you, David Kahn”

It’s the hotly anticipated T-Wolves preview, featuring podcaster-at-large & local optimist Michael Rand. Topics:

  • Wolves: offseason, lineup, wins predictions and Brandon arguing that Flip is the devil
  • Twins: getting our patented pre-rage on about the hiring of Paul Molitor
  • Wild: something about power plays?
  • Vikings: we play the blame game, this round pitting Norv v. Zimmer. Totally shocking spoiler alert: Clarence gives a write-in vote for Spielman.

Episode 76: “It’s me, Poochie!”

Join us as we try to laugh through the incompetence that is Minnesota sports. Topics:

  • The Strib/Twins joint payroll press release
  • The damn Royals
  • Norval Laverne Turner
  • Zimmer’s free pass
  • Flip’s asinine shot charts

We offered a few half-hearted fist pumps about the Wild’s start if you’re looking for some positivity. But you’re here so we know you aren’t. Enjoy.

Episode 75: Watch Out For Finns

It’s a hockey preview episode of the Sportive this week, as Clarence joined Jon at Sportive HQ to talk Wild and Gopher puck for an entire episode. Brandon was not allowed to attend. Stu called in.

In between a pretty detailed breakdown of the Wild and a somewhat less detailed breakdown of the Gophers, we managed to talk about such topics as:

  • Finns are the orneriest people on earth
  • Living in Madison, MN
  • Fargo in March: the Venice of the North
  • Farm permits
  • Dickinson, ND

Plus, at the end, Stu and Clarence make a real live bet.

Episode 73: A Special Brand of Hopeless Incompetence


  • Grouse hunting or John Grisham: the eternal question
  • The ongoing Twins ineptitude – worse than the 90s?
  • Teddy Bridgewater, the only hope this town has left
  • Relatively innocent jug-yanking of local media members
  • Yet another debate over the worst local owners (no decision made; we’ll take another run at it again next week)
  • Hating ourselves for defending famous 12-year-old Bill Simmons
  • Gopher football at Michigan

Episode 72: Hunks on the Mind



- Some truly awful buffalo sounds

- Amish urban myths

- Incest humor, unfortunately

- 10ish seconds of Gopher football talk

- Whether or not we should continue to support the NFL. Warning: an actual serious discussion ensued despite our best efforts otherwise. Won’t happen again — we’ll return to our regular programming of faulty connections and fart noises next week.